What Happens in a Family Mediation: What to Expect and How to Prepare

Jun 26, 2025

Going to court can feel overwhelming when facing a family law dispute, especially if it involves parenting, separation or finances. However, did you know there’s a faster, less expensive and more cooperative alternative? It’s called family mediation, and it’s designed to help you resolve issues outside of a courtroom. What happens in a family mediation?

As a team of family lawyers, we understand how emotionally and financially overwhelming family disputes can be. This is why we’re committed to helping clients find practical, compassionate solutions, like mediation. It prioritizes well-being and long-term peace of mind.

In this blog, we’ll walk you through what happens in a family mediation, why it could be the right option for your situation, and how to prepare effectively.

Whether you’re just beginning a separation or are deep into negotiations, understanding the mediation process can reduce your stress and lead to better outcomes.

What is Family Mediation?

Family mediation is a confidential, voluntary process where a neutral third party, called a mediator, helps separating or divorcing couples resolve disputes. This can include matters such as:

Parenting plans and child access
Child and spousal support
Division of property and finances
Communication guidelines between parents

Unlike a judge, the mediator doesn’t make decisions. Instead, they facilitate productive conversations and guide both parties toward mutually agreeable solutions.

Mediation can happen at any point in the family law process, even after a case has started in court. Some Ontario family courts offer on-site mediation services for free or at a reduced cost, especially for parenting and support issues.

Mediation is not appropriate in every case. This is particularly true when there are concerns about family violence or coercion. However, when suitable, it can offer a more amicable and cost-effective resolution.

What Happens in a Family Mediation?

Understanding what happens in a family mediation can help reduce anxiety and ensure you’re prepared. The process typically involves the following steps:

1. Intake or Screening

Before mediation begins, each party meets separately with the mediator. This screening process ensures that mediation is appropriate and safe for both participants.

The mediator will ask questions about your relationship, concerns about power imbalances, or safety issues like domestic violence.

This step is essential for identifying whether the mediation should proceed, and if so, whether any accommodations, such as shuttle mediation or virtual meetings, are needed.

2. Signing the Agreement to Mediate

If both parties and the mediator agree to proceed, everyone signs an Agreement to Mediate. This outlines the confidentiality rules and ensures that the mediation is voluntary.

3. Mediation Sessions

Mediation sessions may occur in person or online, and can last an entire day. Depending on the complexity of your case, you may need more than one session.

During these meetings:

Each person presents their concerns and priorities.
The mediator helps both sides focus on constructive discussion.
The goal is to find common ground and develop fair solutions.

In some cases, the parties may be in separate rooms (called shuttle mediation), with the mediator going back and forth to communicate proposals.

4. Reaching an Agreement

If an agreement is reached, the mediator prepares a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) or Mediated Agreement. This is not legally binding until each party reviews it with their family court lawyers, who may incorporate it into a formal separation agreement or court order.

If mediation is unsuccessful, you can still proceed to court, but you’ll have the benefit of having narrowed the issues or gained insight into the other party’s perspective.

What Should You Do to Prepare for Family Mediation?

Proper preparation increases the chances of success in mediation. Here’s how to set yourself up for a productive experience:

1. Understand Your Rights

Before attending mediation, speak with a family lawyer to understand your legal rights and obligations. Knowing what the law says about parenting, support, and property division helps you make informed decisions.

2. Organize Your Documents

Bring all relevant documents with you, including:

Income statements or pay stubs
Tax returns
Bank and credit card statements
Mortgage or lease agreements
Lists of assets and debts

Having accurate financial information on hand allows you to negotiate effectively and in good faith.

3. Identify Your Priorities

What are your top concerns? Where are you willing to be flexible? Make a list of your:

Must-haves (e.g., parenting time, living arrangements)
Wants (e.g., particular items or financial terms)
Trade-offs you might be open to

This clarity helps you stay focused during negotiations and avoid becoming emotionally overwhelmed.

4. Keep an Open Mind

Mediation is about cooperation, not confrontation. Be ready to listen, compromise, and work toward outcomes that are fair, even if they’re not perfect.

What’s the Process for Family Mediation in Ontario?

The family mediation process in Ontario can take different forms depending on whether it’s court-connected mediation or private mediation.

Private Family Mediation

In private mediation, you and your former partner hire a family mediator independently. These mediators often offer more flexibility in scheduling and can address a broader range of issues. While there’s a cost involved, private mediation can still be significantly less expensive than going to court.

Court-Connected Mediation (In or Near the Courthouse)

Many Ontario family courts offer mediation services on-site or off-site through trained mediators. According to the Ontario Association for Family Mediation, these services are available at subsidized rates, with some offered for free (e.g., the first 2 hours for parenting or support matters).

To access this:

Ask the Family Law Information Centre (FLIC) at your courthouse
Get referred by your duty counsel or court staff
Request it directly in court

These sessions are usually shorter and more focused on immediate issues, such as parenting time or urgent support matters.

Benefits of Working With a Private Mediator

At Kelly Jordan Family Law, we believe that mediation is the better dispute resolution method for families. It’s why Kelly Jordan offers her services as a family mediator.

Here’s why she believes this is a better option:

Greater flexibility in scheduling sessions at times that work best for both parties
More time and attention are dedicated to complex or sensitive issues compared to court-connected mediation
Customized, creative solutions tailored to your family’s specific needs and dynamics
Enhanced privacy and confidentiality, with complete control over who is involved in the process
Faster resolution timelines, helping you move forward without the delays often associated with court proceedings
Reduced emotional and financial strain, thanks to a more respectful, cooperative environment facilitated by a neutral professional

Even when using a private mediator, it’s wise to work with a family court lawyer to understand your rights and review any agreements before making them legally binding. This ensures your interests are fully protected throughout the process.

Mediation Can Be a Powerful Tool

If you’re going through a separation or dealing with parenting disputes, understanding what happens in a family court mediation is the first step toward a more peaceful and fair resolution.

With the guidance of an experienced family law mediator and support from your family court lawyers, you can avoid the stress, delays, and high costs of court while prioritizing the well-being of everyone involved.

At Kelly Jordan Family Law, our experienced team can help you prepare for family mediation, review agreements, and ensure that your rights and interests are fully protected throughout the process. Reach out today to learn how we can support your next steps.

Family law lawyer Kelly D Jordan can provide you with the legal guidance and support you need.

If you need legal advice regarding separation or divorce, contact us online or call our Toronto offices at 416-849-5501 to schedule a consultation. Let us provide you with the guidance and representation you need.